The Alternate Glossary

Rather than pollute Neil's "Glossary" thread with irreverent gumpf I thought that it may be worthwhile starting a new thread..

The following was related to me by a co-worker who swore blind that he was actually present when the following exchange took place. However I have long suspected that he was pulling my leg. Either way I think that it makes a nice story.

An IBM sales person had been flown in from the USA to give a presentation at the unveiling of a brand new IBM minicomputer (a genre that has long since vanished into obscurity). At one point the salesman had a block diagram of the machine up on the overhead projector. Each block labelled with the appropriate acronym - CPU, RAM etc.

After discussing each block in turn, but making no mention of a little block off to the side labelled AMD someone eventually put up their hand and asked what it was, the salesman, in a broad Southern drawl, replied "oh that's simple, it is an Air Movement Device", he continued "we used to have it labelled FAN but no one could figure out what it stood for".

..you mean the Fresh Air Nudger?

Having spent too many years in the IT industrty, I know that we are the worst for this.

PCMCIA which was used on memory expansion cards under the auspices of the "Personal Computer Memory Card International Association" was often turned around to

"People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms"

How about another IT acronym used by IT desks PICNIC stands for Problem In Chair Not In Computer, used when they are presented with trivial faults

TWAIN as used with scanners etc. is one that tickles me with its confusing origins. I think a little LSD must have been used when this protocol was being dreamed up.

**LINK**

Rik - I'll stick with Famous Grouse for now

LSD - Lysergic Acid Diethylamide

IBM - International Business Machines

and the one we love

HF - Hydrogen Fluoride (also Hydrofluoric Acid).

Where does one start?

JA

Never heard of PICNIC. We had Hardware, Software and Wetware problems.

And the person responsible for the programming mistake that crashed Hitomi likely has an underware problem.

Dave

There's little chance of anyone doing that...

I remember a few short days when President Bush was arguing for The War Against Terror.

Neil

One of my favorite Dilbert strips was this one (network token)

**LINK**

Roger

I thought it was PEBKAC... problem exists between keyboard and chair.

Remember when WYSIWYG was big? Pronounced wizy-wig. What you see is what you get.

Big times when what you saw on the screen is exactly how it would print.

And a wonderful thing it was. I remember putting out whole newspapers by coding in X,Y co-ordinates and the like, then waiting for the resulting "proof" to come out the laser printer. One misplaced coding coma or number or symbol and the headline would be in the middle of the copy, the photo caption across the top of the page etc. The first Wizy-Wig did not even show really what you got, just blocks indicating that at least the headline was above the copy and the caption below the photo. Unbelievably they were still doing this in Australia up to the turn of the 21st century.

Everyone knows what FAQs are, but this website (at least as far as posting photos is concerned) proves that FIAs exist too.

Neil

.

[expletive deleted]

Incomprehensible

Answers

One acronym that can be applied to most situations and sometimes people is WOMBAT. Waste Of Money Breath And Time.

Information Technology is hard to beat for acronyms. File Access Requirements Table

Well known globally used acronym... SNAFU...

George.

FUBAR describes some of my stuff quite accurately.....

Dave

FAQ, in the meat industry auctions in NZ "Fair Average Quality", which probably causes FAQ's, fequently asked questions.

On another forum I frequent a good many are either serving, or have been RNZAF/RAAF personel, and at times I get completely lost with the service acronyms. Even some of the nicknames given to the aircraft gets some people.

Scooter, Blunty, Plastic Parrot. A-4 Skyhawk, BAC Strikemaster, CT-4B Airtrainer.

Ian S C

A-4 Skyhawk = Scooter - Interesting!

JA