Coping with deafness

Hi all

My next door neighbour is aged 88 and she is very deaf and getting deafer as time goes on. She can no longer hear her doorbell easily and wonders what she can do about this.

My neighbour is very mentally alert and she recently called in the Fire Brigade to fit her up with a smoke alarm. She could not hear the alarm sounder so the brigade installed a vibrating thing on the end of a flex which she was to put under her pillow. She has now rejected this, apparently on moral grounds, and had it removed. She says she is too old to be running outside if there was a fire.

I have suggested she has a flashing light doorbell but she is not keen on this idea because she thinks it will make her seem like a disabled person!

Anyone any ideas about a "doorbell" she could hear/ see/ become aware of?

Thanks

Rod

You can get vibrating wrist bands that can alert for fire alarms and doorbells, but of course, that means she would have to wear it and recharge it. Which if she is anything like my mother was would not happen.

Adrian

There are wi-fi doorbells which can connect to a smart phone. Should sort her out as long as she carries the phone with her all the time.

I recently installed an ingenious doorbell. When the outside button is pressed, a loud tone is generated at one or more receivers plugged into a mains socket. The only power required is that derived from the sockets.

I can supply details if this might help.

Something like this?

She has to accept her deafness as a first step, deafness is a disability full stop. I have severely impaired hearing and my wife is profoundly deaf, through illness, and we both use technology to assist us. It seems she is not prepared to help herself, the vibrating pad under her pillow connected to the smoke alarm is a brilliant bit of kit, my wife has had hers for years, if she will not accept that then I doubt she will accept any other technology solutions.
Dave W

Ask your neighbour if she has ever had her ears flushed out ?

When I was in my middle 40's my hearing became an issue. I went to a consultant and after he had a look said with a smile, " I can give you new ears." He returned to the room with a huge syringe ( minus the needle) and a small bucket of warm water with a peroxide type solution and proceeded to jet out my ears. After a couple of minutes chunks of ancient hardened wax came flowing out. When he was finished I was amazed at the difference in what I could once again hear. When I got home I noticed that I had to turn down the volume on the television and I could once again hear the kettle boiling. I've had my ears flushed several times in the past 20 or so years now, and can tell you it would be worth having your neighbour consider it.

Edited By Mike E. on 01/08/2020 16:57:31

Hi Everyone, I can see that this is going to be a tough one! not because there is any shortage of things that could be done but getting someone who has been independent all their life to accept help is often very hard.

I she wont accept a flashing light how about a flag that drops down or lifts up?

Tom.

Edited By Thomas Cooksley on 01/08/2020 17:29:45

Poor old 'gel. Reminded me of "my wife's mother" in 'Allo 'allo with the elevating bed and flashing bedknobs.

Rik

Edited By Rik Shaw on 01/08/2020 17:23:57

We have a smoke alarm that puts a built in emergency light on as well as sounding, she could have it in the bedroom.

A small table lamp could be wired to the doorbell. That said who would she miss?

I suspect though it will become a case of 'no, now whats the question'.

My 83yo dad is corned beef and won't wear hearing aids because it would make him look old and disabled

ooo-kay

Vanity takes priority over common-bluddy-sense

I just shout insults at him between the general conversation, it keeps him alert and focussed

At my mothers recent visit to an ear clinic they used a suction device to clear the ear canal.

Mike

Now that's interesting

I had a mastoid as a nipper and my ears were ok afterwards but I got a lot of ENT type issues in my 40s with infections, especially the throat/ear zones

My neck gland would swell up and almost make it impossible to swallow

Never tried to get it sussed out, I avoid doctors, but my dentist gave me this super-antibiotic for a bad abscess which needed removed, he called it "domestos for humans"

I have not had any ENT issues since he gave me that stuff, it was amazing

Perhaps a dose of super-antibiotics once every 30 years would do us all a favour

[This posting has been removed]

As she seems to want advice why not try and put her in touch with a professional organisation, (Charity).

Link here:- Action on Hearing Loss

I am yet another hard of hearing person.

Edited By V8Eng on 01/08/2020 19:38:19

Chris, I had the same problem on two fronts when I started with hearing aids, mine are the behind the ear type with a tube into the ear canal. I had considerable discomfort with the top of my ear caused by the tube and the ear canal due to the size of the cushion/plug on the end. Both were resolved easily with different components.

Well worth asking the ENT specialist what they can do IMO.

John

Lots of useful ideas here.

I fear I may have given a rather false impression of my neighbour. She is elderly and very deaf but otherwise is very active. She lives alone and has no carers etc., she gardens, she lip reads very well, she drives, she uses a tablet more, and more expertly, than I do, she gambles when playing bridge and ( in normal times) she sings in a choir and has a very active social life. I think it is perhaps because of this social life that she is so reluctant to have anything that might make her appear to be disabled.

She does though seem to want a solution to the doorbell issue, though she does not seem so focused on the smoke alarm.

I will list all the ideas that you have all suggested and let her and her 2 adult children ( who live elsewhere) decide what she will do to enable her to answer her "doorbell."

Many thanks to all who contributed.

Rod

Rod, as someone who looks after two elderly and very handicapped people, one of whom is also profoundly deaf, and used to look after a similarly circumstanced neighbour, the best solution to the doorbell problem I can think of is for your neighbour to have a note on her door saying "if no reply, try next door's bell" [i.e. yours].

You could have a key to your neighbour's house, and if the visitor seems important and totally trustworthy you can let yourself in and take things from there.

As for the smoke alarm, is it not possible for her to have a wireless one that rings out in your house?