Coronavirus

We are in Australia at the moment, been here about 3 weeks.

Last Monday Emirates flight Ek420 arrived in Perth with a passenger carrying the virus.

She has now self isolated.

Authorities are now anxiously trying to contact all passengers who were around the young woman.

We fly back on Ek421 at end of the month, crikey makes you think!!!!!

Airline bookings to Australia have now dropped by 77%.

Geoff

Would be a good time to deliver a ghost poo, no mark on the paper and no evidence in the pan.

Mike

[This posting has been removed]

In lieu of what?

Maybe the gender thing is checking before you commit?

Pete

Just be thankful that supermarkets don,t sell the army old style paper the waxy stuff that scratched like made when using it.

The security guard at my local shop was saying this morning that people are buying toilet paper like made. we managed to get a pack as we are running genuinely low, and there were people buying 4 or five 9 packs. Either they are afraid or they have constipation

Edited By Derek Lane on 06/03/2020 13:01:07

You can rely on the British at the first hint of a crisis to panic buy, why is it always toilet paper and sugar that are first on the list, no matter what the crisis is ?
Dave W

To reduce this to lavatorial pedantry, if you're constipated you don't need toilet paper

Sorry, I'll take the dog out

Were non of you taught how to "prepare" Izal paper before use ?

Nigel B.

Well just to spread the panic, remember where your tea comes from!

Incidentally, if we do all survive till the spring, bracken is an excellent alternative when faced with either Izal or no loo paper.

Adrain.

I nearly spilt my tea reading this! I'd forgotten all about that

David

Bracken? Far too frondy and limited barrier... better off with rhubarn leaves. I did get 'caught short' doing some fencing work at the top of Fiona field Hill a while back.. fortunately I had a spade with me and there's plenty of sphagnum moss growing up there. Townies will just have to scoot their bottoms along the grass in the parks...

Indeed. Mummy used to prefer Bronco.

And every sheet of that 50,000 tons of Izal paper will have GOVERNMENT PROPERTY printed on it in a precisely specified place and font. One side rough and t'other smooth, rumour had it that it like that to accommodate both male and female use.! Long gone are the five hole planks in the garden privy with the various types of paper hung on a nail driven into the wood. Mind you were never alone with all the insect life that decided this was a good place to call home. Ah those were the good old days.

I always thought dock leaves were the go to wiper to use.

Martin P

The downward spiral began when the News Of The World went bust, you know what they always said of that paper.

Anyone qualifying for a pneumonia inoculation who hasn't had one yet should think seriously about getting one.

Definitely after you’d accidentally squatted in the stinging nettles.

Edited By V8Eng on 06/03/2020 18:03:12

This thread merely confirms the limits to my education. So, how exactly does one "prepare" Izal medicated toilet-paper before use?

I have 'googled' and searched youtube without success. Perhaps, in ignorance, I am using the wrong search terms tho'.

Regards, in anticipation of someone sharing what could become crucial information.

Phil

Edited By Weary on 06/03/2020 18:31:45

Now I am going to get morbid. I am 73 and do think about old age and death. I do not want to live to a great age with limited mental capacity etc. I want a good peaceful death. To that end I have, so far, refused the pneumonia inoculation.

You can call me stupid.

As for toilet paper, I will panic when the local supermarket has no tinned soup.

JA