Just read this "beginners guide" and laughed a lot!

Hi Andy

As long as there is a link to

www.model-engineer.co.uk

at the bottom of the article I doubt Model Engineer would complain.

As far as the author, I can't answer for him.

Andy, would you like to write some of your projects up for Model Engineers' Workshop?

regards David

and no ones mentioned a bucket of steam which suprises me

i did send one apprentice off with a piece of angle iron that i had cut an angle in the middle then bent to suit, showed him how it was to hold up an access panel, made sure he held it at the correct angle explaining that it needed welding with a left handed rod and using the overhead technique, he arrived back from our narky welder with it done but complaining that when he mentioned a left handed rod was told to go forth and procreate and when he said overhead got a clip over his head

Hi There

One chap had to cut a 4 ft long piece of steel from an eight by four sheet.

When asked how to do it, he was told to cut 2ft of each end and get them welded together.

And he did.

regards David

In the early days of my chequred engineering experiences when making tea and sweeping the floor were just about the only practicial skills I was usually asked to demonstrate, one of the tradesmen said he was very busy and would I face off a piece of metal for him, the lathe was set with a tool already to go. Of course I was very happy to oblige and positioned the tool to take the first cut only to see it bend back on itself as soon as it made contact with the bar, mild panic followed untill I realised the whole workshop were enjoying a joke. Of course the tool bit was made of lead!!

Hi David,

I've added a proper attribution, and the link to this site which you suggested. Of course, there's no guarantee this will fend off trouble, but if Magicalia complain, I will remove the page forthwith. Same if I hear from the original author (or his executors), though that's perhaps unlikely after 50-odd years.

I hadn't realised that it was one of a series. As John Stewart says, it might be worth reprinting the lot!

Not sure if any of my projects are worth writing up, and it might mean a bit of work in remaking the really ugly bits and polishing things up for photos. If you think anything is worthy of publication, send me a PM.

Regards,

Andy

Had an apprentice draftsman who sent a drawing to the floor calling for a shaft to be drilled to a depth, length wise, the hole to be 7/8 with shaft dia. 5/8. After a brief discussion, with him and the boss, I was told to just get it done. So after a breif amount of time at the lathe I brought the bag of shavings into the bosses office along with the print. Boss sheepishly chuckled and proceeded to call in the the apprentice for a discussion.

As a cadet the second mate sent me to the engine room to get a fuse for a deadlight

Even worse...the third engineer had a wee think about it and gave me what he thought I was sent for

Just to add one to the list.....get me a box of 1/2" holes....

Lots of lads at the Army College got into trouble and had to attend 'Jankers', Bugle blows and a mad scamper to get in squad and one lad limps to the squad. RD Cpl shouts , 'Whats wrong with you?'

Lad replies, 'I dropped a tappet clearance on my foot'. RD Cpl replies, 'OK you are excused duty'

Lad duly limps back around corner of building and bursts into laughter.

I have also sent lads to the NAAFI to buy 'Beasing rings'. Beasing was the term for using boot polish to shine up the toecaps on the army boots.

Has anyone been sent for a , 'Long wait' ?

Clive.

Hi Clive,

Yes I've had a long wait. In my earlier post on this subject I wrote:- "......had to obtain a bevelled edged chalk line". What I didn't say was the fitter also said "and whilst you're there ask for a long weight" (this is not a spelling error).

This ended up as a 'long wait' at the stores window whilst the store man was actually having a cup of tea with the fitter who first sent me to get these items, no doubt laughing at my expense!

Those were the days!

Barry

Edited By Barry Q on 14/04/2012 10:57:04

Slightly removed from engineering: I went to work in an ICI research lab for a few months before going to university. The lab head tried to send me to the stores for "a box of molecular weights" - his standard try-on for new chaps. To his disappointment I didn't fall for it.

David

Edited By David Littlewood on 14/04/2012 11:15:20

I realise I have read this before and had an equally embarassing accident because of it! In medical circles ( I am a psychiatrist) we have some equally silly tricks to play on our newbies. A common one is getting a student to ask Sister for a Recumbent Posture, as it was recommended in the past that some medicines were taken in one! The battleaxes of 60's nursing were rarely amused, and the poor students life would be dire from then on. Ah Happy Days!

Andries

I wonder how many apprentices kinow full well they are being spoofed, and happily enjoy an hour away from the shop floor...?

Neil

Hi Stub

Have the ME for the TWIMP as you say worthy of a goon show if our moderator gives permission I will show it on this thread

Bob

Hello All,

I came across this thread while browsing the dusty recesses of the site.

I thought it deserved bumping back up, for those who may not have seen it.

I haven't laughed so much in ages.

Does anyone know where any other articles by this author are to be found ?

Edited By c on 10/07/2016 08:26:58

Edited By c on 10/07/2016 08:27:32

Model Engineer magazine.

Volume Page

106 390

106 812

107 819

109 529

109 678

111 678

113 865

114 160

114 580

114 1042

115 812

117 764

117 814

118 498

119 316

119 701

120 607

121 450

123 636

125 688

After my recent gear cutting experiments I find I have several gears with half teeth if anyone requires them?

Thank's C.

We used to have a vapour decreasing plant that was filled with boiling trichloroethane (spelling is possibly wrong). Apprentices were frequently sent to get some in a plastic vending cup. It usually started leaking out about half way back. The plant had to go when ozone depletion in the upper atmosphere started to be a problem.

We also had a new manager in our toolroom with no engineering experience. He took a phone call one day from a department that had just received an new tool. When told the chamfers were missing from part of the tool he went out into the workshop and asked if anyone had them so he could send them on.

Martin