By continuing to use this site, you agree to our use of cookies. Find out more
Forum sponsored by:
Forum sponsored by Forum House Ad Zone

Hobby related jokes

All Topics | Latest Posts

Search for:  in Thread Title in  
Billy Bean27/02/2018 11:39:38
174 forum posts
1 photos

One afternoon, an engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. He ran into a friend of his, also an engineering student, who said, "Wow! That sure is a great bike. Where did you get it?"

"Well, the darndest thing happened," said the first engineering student. "A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said that I could have anything that I wanted."

"Wow," remarked his friend. "That's great. Good move. Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Nick Thorpe27/02/2018 11:48:38
53 forum posts
6 photos

I always remember that a new Triumph Tiger motorbike in 1973 cost £437 - I used to spend ages looking at one in the dealer's window in Camberwell. A quick look shows that new Triumphs cost between £8,000 - £10,000 so not wildly different to the price increase on Phil's 1973 Myford at £380 that now costs £8,000 plus VAT.

Nick

Martin 10027/02/2018 11:51:38
287 forum posts
6 photos
Posted by Philip Rowe on 27/02/2018 11:30:53:

in 1973 when I bought my Super 7 supplied new by an ironmongers in Worthing it cost me from memory about £380.

Bank Of England Inflation Calculator

£380 in 1973 = £4,368.98 in 2017

You can buy a really good 5" chuck (Pratt Burnerd / Bison) for 300 quid (including vat) in todays money and a motor is around £150 for something still made in the UK, add in £1000 quid for a stand and a really posh hand polished powder coat / paint job and a bit under 500 quid for the inverter, control gear and chuck guard.

Nope, still can't get anywhere near that 9780 quid

Hopper27/02/2018 12:08:49
avatar
7881 forum posts
397 photos

A model engineer walks into a bar.

"Damn," he says. "So that's where the one-inch silver steel got to."

Edited By Hopper on 27/02/2018 12:10:11

Hopper27/02/2018 12:15:25
avatar
7881 forum posts
397 photos

I always liked Neville Shute's description of an engineer, something like: A chap who can do for 10 bob what any fool could do for a Pound.

But much prefer Tom Robbins' description in the book "Skinny Legs and All" of: The kind of guy who could mend the hinges on the gates of Hell if need be. (I have always tried to be that guy. )

Billy Bean27/02/2018 12:16:50
174 forum posts
1 photos

There is a seperate thread for the myford and its cost .

I have got the message that it is over priced, have decided against it so thank you one and all.

Anybody know a good joke, apart from the cost of a myford, so we can get this thread back on track please ?

Billy Bean27/02/2018 12:18:15
174 forum posts
1 photos

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Billy Bean27/02/2018 12:25:52
174 forum posts
1 photos

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.

Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.

He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is".

The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.

The engineer responded briefly:
One chalk mark: $1
Knowing where to put it: $49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

Billy Bean27/02/2018 14:19:03
174 forum posts
1 photos

A priest, an ophthalmologist, and an engineer were golfing one morning behind a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello, George. What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. Then the priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer for them."

The ophthalmologist added, "Good idea. And maybe I could examine them to see if there's anything I can do for them."

They were silent for a moment.

Then the engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Brian Sweeting27/02/2018 14:46:21
453 forum posts
1 photos
Posted by Martin 100 on 27/02/2018 10:55:05:

Using the manufacturing techniques Myford used to use you might see why 8k was the price to the customer.

But with the 'new Myford' it's difficult to see how it's ended up the same price. For sure it's a lot more 'complicated' than a boxy relatively rough piece of cast iron from the far east, and it's almost certainly better finished but it's one hell a lot of money for not much metal. It only comes with one chuck and is powered by a 0.75kW motor.

But it's not actually '8k' its actually 8150 + VAT

A staggering £9780

To put that in perspective for 30k (plus VAT) you can buy a very capable (far east built with UK support) 3 axis CNC vertical machining centre with an 18" x 14" x 14" axis travel, an 8k CAT40 spindle with a 7.5kW motor (machine weight 2.6 tonne) or for that same 30k (plus VAT) a CNC turning centre that will swing a foot diameter, a foot long, with a 12 station turret, with a 6000rpm spindle powered by a 13kW motor (machine weight 3.2 tonne)

Of course neither of those will sit in the corner of a tiny shed but 9780 quid for just 180kg of machinery? That's 54 quid per kg or £24.50 per pound or £1.50 per ounce

If you have to explain a joke then it isn't funny.

Mick B127/02/2018 14:47:58
2444 forum posts
139 photos
Posted by Hopper on 27/02/2018 11:29:27:
Posted by Mick Charity on 25/02/2018 07:33:32:

The primary function of design is to make it difficult to fabricate & impossible to service.

The Designer

...
So just to make the machinist squeal
I'll make him mill it from tungsten steel

...

Huh. He will of course have enquired with Purchasing, to make sure to specify a material only available on a 26-week leadtime - he knows he's not allowed to use real Unobtainium.

The machinist won't be squealing until Production Control are already off sick with stress-related symptoms.

John Haine27/02/2018 14:52:42
5563 forum posts
322 photos

Know the one about the new supersonic fighter that the wings kept falling off? No one could figure it out, all the calcs said it should work, so in desperation they held a competition for suggestions. Loads of ideas came in and they all failed. At last the boss was just about to admit defeat, but asked if there wasn't just one idea they hadn't tried? Well, they said, there was only old Joe the cleaner's, but what did he know and anyway, it was such a silly idea... "Never mind that, just try it!" he said. So they did, drilling a row of small closely spaced holes along each wing root. So they flew the plane and it worked perfectly, no sign of any break up any more, problem solved. They awarded Joe the big prize, and the chief engineer sidled up to him afterwards and asked how he know what do do? "Well, you don't clean the bogs round this place for 50 years without learning that toilet paper never tears along the perforations...."

John Reese27/02/2018 15:14:19
avatar
1071 forum posts

From my nephew, an auto mechanic:

An automotive engineer would climb over 10 naked women to screw an auto mechanic.

Martin 10027/02/2018 20:00:54
287 forum posts
6 photos
Posted by Brian Sweeting on 27/02/2018 14:46:21:

If you have to explain a joke then it isn't funny.

Yet quoting 1132 characters to add one line of piffle is?

Excuse me I shall have to go to A&E as my sides have surely split

Georgineer27/02/2018 21:56:21
652 forum posts
33 photos

Boys, Boys! Play nicely now.

Enough!27/02/2018 23:12:23
1719 forum posts
1 photos
Posted by Martin 100 on 27/02/2018 20:00:54:

Yet quoting 1132 characters to add one line of piffle is?


You counted them?

Mark Rand28/02/2018 00:19:59
1505 forum posts
56 photos

Hey, don't knock the £8,150 ML7B connoisseurs! Folks were willing to pay £50,000 for Hardinge HLV-H 5.5x24 lathes.

 

PS:- My HLV (no -H) cost £150 plus 4 years of work to re-build it. cheeky

Edited By Mark Rand on 28/02/2018 00:26:45

MW28/02/2018 10:54:16
avatar
2052 forum posts
56 photos
Posted by Mick B1 on 27/02/2018 14:47:58:

The machinist won't be squealing until Production Control are already off sick with stress-related symptoms.

Cmon Mick, that's a low blow. cheeky

It's better to take time off than being run into the ground like some people are.

To add another joke; 

"I used to think the air was free... until I bought a packet of crisps!" 

Michael W

Edited By Michael-w on 28/02/2018 10:58:41

Mick B128/02/2018 19:04:12
2444 forum posts
139 photos
Posted by Michael-w on 28/02/2018 10:54:16:
Posted by Mick B1 on 27/02/2018 14:47:58:

The machinist won't be squealing until Production Control are already off sick with stress-related symptoms.

Cmon Mick, that's a low blow. cheeky

It's better to take time off than being run into the ground like some people are.

...

Michael W

 

Wouldn't dispute that for a moment. ProdCon was a hard row to hoe, leastways with manual MRP/CRP and no Firm Planned timefences.

Edited By Mick B1 on 28/02/2018 19:06:57

Halton Tank03/03/2018 23:18:24
avatar
98 forum posts
56 photos

As an engineer I try to design things that are idiot proof.

Trouble is, they are making better idiots !

Luigi.

All Topics | Latest Posts

Please login to post a reply.

Magazine Locator

Want the latest issue of Model Engineer or Model Engineers' Workshop? Use our magazine locator links to find your nearest stockist!

Find Model Engineer & Model Engineers' Workshop

Sign up to our Newsletter

Sign up to our newsletter and get a free digital issue.

You can unsubscribe at anytime. View our privacy policy at www.mortons.co.uk/privacy

Latest Forum Posts
Support Our Partners
cowells
Sarik
MERIDIENNE EXHIBITIONS LTD
Subscription Offer

Latest "For Sale" Ads
Latest "Wanted" Ads
Get In Touch!

Do you want to contact the Model Engineer and Model Engineers' Workshop team?

You can contact us by phone, mail or email about the magazines including becoming a contributor, submitting reader's letters or making queries about articles. You can also get in touch about this website, advertising or other general issues.

Click THIS LINK for full contact details.

For subscription issues please see THIS LINK.

Digital Back Issues

Social Media online

'Like' us on Facebook
Follow us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter
 Twitter Logo

Pin us on Pinterest

 

Donate

donate