Answering Machine Messages

Just going through some really old emails and came across this which I thought could stand another go around.

Anyone know any others?

Very good

Only number 5 would induce me to want to actually leave a message.

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As a nod to the internet of things I like:-

"I'm sorry the Answer Phone is unavailable at the moment, this is the Toaster"

;O)

Martin

Peter. 15 pieces of magic which one shall I choose?

Before I discovered that you can phone customer services and have the answerphone disabled, mine was - " I do not use this answerphone, please try again later, or contact me by text, email or post."

Many years ago we used to have:

"Are we in or are we out, if you don't leave a message you'll never find out"

Now we just have the std:

"This is and answering machine"

"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes to my life. Please lave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

Your message is very important to us...Yeah Right!

Trying to buy a lathe 40 odd years ago via exchange and mart - compulsory reading in those days, I rang the London number to be greeted by a rather posh voice - it was Chelsea - and the message was a very apologetic

“ I am so sorry that I am not here to answer your call, but if you leave your name and number I promise you faithfully that I will get back to just as soon as I can”.

if you want my good lady wife …..the f******old cows owt” in a broad cockney accent . Had to ring twice as wife did not believe me.

My machine answered with the reply "Hello" and a three or four second delay to allow t'other end to start rabbiting. After this pause, the recording then stated "Stop, you are speaking to a machine" followed by the usual name rank serial number telephone number drivel.

Regards Ian.

Yeah, "We value your call". But not enough to hire someone to answer it.