Q: Is this progress …

BMW

1. The ultimate driving machine
2. This …

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MichaelG

28 days early surely?

Perhaps VD will report back to BMW about where I've been and what I said, and who I've met. No thanks!

I wonder if she has Sirius Cybernetic's "Genuine People Personality"? Personally I would prefer the Nissan Pivo's friendly little dashboard robot as "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with".

Brian G

What on Earth is it advertising? A new model of BMW sales-rep chariot? Some of sort of on-line "virtual" girl-friend? Or an "animatronic" one to occupy the otherwise-empty passenger seat? [Best stop there... -Ed.]

The waffle under the photo reminds me of one of those end-of-page fillers that stick in my mind, from a copy of Readers' Digest years ago. It told us that a school in America had sent every pupil home with a letter describing some new approach to its teaching methods. RD quoted the letter, which was all similarly incomprehensible, pseudo-intellectual fluff telling its readers nothing at all useful, and what it had inspired one parent to write back; something like this:

" I am a Languages Professor fluent in [he named three modern European languages] and with some knowledge of a few others; but I have no idea what you are talking about. Have you? "

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The daft, or sad, thing is that the writers of such publicity twaddle genuinely believe it themselves, and think all their readers will, too! Still, these prunes do supply plenty of material for Private Eye's "Pseuds' Corner" column.

Look, you miserable old Luddites, YOU CAN CUSTOMISE THE EXTERIOR COLOUR!

(whatever that actually means)

How could it be more perfect?

(Was Syrius Cybernetics based on Golgafrinchan? )

Edited By Mick B1 on 03/03/2023 09:06:49

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I can’t bear to post a link, but there are plenty of videos available.

MichaelG.

I can't bear to look into this at all. I used to be a petrol-head, but now cars are just a nuisance, and one is held hostage by incompetent srevice agents and by the manufacturers' walls of secrecy surrounding any technical information you want. To answer: yes, this is progress - progress to hell. It is driven by idiots who think that 'because you can' is sufficient justification for doing something, and, of course, by the dead hand of those whose only interest is the financial side of a business. It's ghastly!

Edited By Kiwi Bloke on 03/03/2023 09:47:23

Come on, we both know it isn't even worth trying.

It's like one of those fake news items that appears on phone feeds, promises it's going to reveal some science, health, social or suchlike secret, draws the user into a string of waffle-filled Next Pages, then grinds into the sand in a slew of worthless advertising without ever telling you what it promised.

You can tell the target market from the brand.

You can tell the target market from the brand.

Yeah, the gullible!

Peter G. Shaw

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But the point of my opening post was that the brand’s target market seems to have changed

MichaelG.

That's because BMW has lost the aggressive idiot market to Audi.

I think the authorised term is 'Early Adopters'.

We're the oil lamp and coal fire generation, I don't think we're the target market anymore

They'll bring out a talking mobility-aid for us later in the year

But if the batteries go flat, I shan't be able hear what it's saying, or see which button to presson the keypad, or the touch screen.

And we all know about bovine excrement, don't we?

Howard

I think it's an April Fool spoof that got out early.

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I only wish you were right, John … But I doubt that even BMW would put this much effort into a spoof:

**LINK**

https://www.bmw.co.uk/en/topics/discover/concept-cars/bmw-vision-ivisiondee-2023.html

MichaelG.

I opened that link (using the quoted address).

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Possibly not a spoof but all that pie-eyed piffle might simply be to draw you into their advertising department's trap; that of so-called "cookies" linked to a very long list of irrelevant companies hiding behind opaque names. They have no rejection option despite the big button; or if they do, it is carefully hidden.

The Models link shows much more normal cars - just BMW's ordinary but costly company reps' wagons.

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Also saw some waffle about linking hardware and software. i.e. making the vehicle so damnably complicated that if you break down in a remote area on a cold Winter night.... tough! The nearest possible repairer is 500 miles away, closed 'til Monday and charges £500 just to suck their teeth while estimating £5000 to change a small plug-in p.c.b. - next month.

"Oh, and the Infotainment System shows the Integrated Vehicle Management Protocol has identified the rear screen wiper blade must be changed as it's 239.37 miles old, and Halfords not Harrods."

Amusingly, the Chief Blurb Officer responsible seems to imply building a computer into a car is something novel!

The rubbish spouted out in the sales blurb is not aimed at intellegent people, but at those who have lots of money and who are easily fooled into thinking they are helping the planet.

"..I wanted a Digital Emotional Experience, but all I got was i VD.."

..you heard it here first..