A bit of light relief No. 1

On another thread, there have been a few comments about converting old slides to digital. Well, here is something similar, but with a light-hearted touch.

Meet Herbert!

Now, as you can see, Herbert is a Shorthorn Bull, and although it doesn't show, he was "entire". He even had his horns - about 5 inches long, straight, about 1.5 inch dia at the base and tapering to a point.

During the Winter months he was kept in a single stall in what was called the Stable along with 4 of his "harem" who occupied two adjacent double stalls. Now at Herbert's left was a hefty steel construction which served as a barrier between the stalls, but at least allowed Herbert to see his harem. (The remaining beasts were in the Mistal and out of sight.) To Herbert's right was a brick wall, about a metre or slightly more high which served to separate Herbert from the alleyway running to the store room. During these months, all the beasts, including Herbert, were fed some rations - corn, sugarbeet, etc which appeared to be loved by the animals,  at least the lick buckets were always scrupulously clean. Herbert was always fed at the same time as the adjacent cows.

One day, whilst the farmer and I were in the adjacent Mistal, there arose a most tremendous racket, so I rather casually wandered into the stable to see what was going on - only to find that poor old Herbert had somehow managed to hook his nosering onto the end of the lick bucket handle. He was most displeased, hence the racket. Now I don't know about you, but I'm not about to walk up the side of a rather angry Shorthorn bull, so I left him to it whilst I cast around for inspiration. This turned out to be an old walking stick, turn it round, hook the bucket handle, and draw towards you whilst leaning over wall. I was thus able to release Herbert from his torment.

Did he thank me? Did he heck! Ungrateful beast!

Peter G. Shaw

Edited By Peter G. Shaw on 28/03/2020 14:58:50

Story No.2 Sorry no photos. Incidently, the episode above probably dates from around 1960, maybe earlier, as does this one.

In the Mistal, at times we would not have too much to do as the two milking machines would be clacking away unaided whilst the other 8 cows awaited their turn. On one occasion, I sat down on a window ledge and picked up the Curry Comb, only to discover that a rather large Ayrshire cow, complete with large horns went mad. I replaced the comb, and the cow quietened. Picked it up and she went mad again. By that I mean she started tossing her head, and jumping around, all the time whilst watching me. I then walked across to her whilst carrying the comb, and again she quietened. Needless to say, what she wanted was combing, and she stood perfectly still whilst watching me comb all over her backend and even down her rear legs, even to the extent that she put up no resistance to me holding her tail. Remember, had she taken a dislike, I would have been over the other side of the Mistal following a hefty kick.

Dumb beasts they may be, but on occasion they can make their needs & wants known.

Peter G. Shaw

Could light relief be called "dark?" Keep up the stories.

On the topic of bulls. We had (the usual?) sliding doors at each end of the cowshed (early 1950s build). At one point we had a bull (before AI became common) that was not of the best disposition.

I remember that when the bull had been released with the cows Dad used to catch ——- (can’t remember if he had a name like all the cows, but ‘George’ is deep in the back of my memory) by attracting him with a bowl of concentrates held from inside the sliding doors with minimum gap. We stood well clear, probably on instructions, in the doorway to the dairy, while Dad captured the bull with a bull pole hooked into the bull’s nose ring.

I can remember the clattering as the bull bunted the cowshed doors - and the feed bowl was in need of straightening, afterwards, on one occasion. I think it might have been at that point Dad decided to join the AI scheme and the bull went to market!

Have just reread a story entitled "At the Checkout"

"Arrived at the checkout, ready to pay with my credit card.

Operator said "Strip down, facing me" It seemed strange, but did as I was told.

It wasn't my fault! The instructions were not clear.

I have been asked to shop at other supermarkets in future!"

Howard

Another comical story.

Same farm, same farmer. Reared a young bull with the intention of breeding from it and allowed it to run with some heifers for a while whilst the farmer waited to see when it started showing interest in the cows. Amongst these heifers was, I suppose for a bull, a particularly winsome heifer. Fairly obviously both young bull and young heifer were old enough because before long the heifer started showing unmistakable signs of pregnancy which left the farmer in a quandary because he had no idea of the due date. His only comment was "I didn't know that bull was old enough!".

So it isn't only humans that get up to mischief when the elders aren't looking!

Peter G. Shaw

I once had to remove a latex surgical glove from the head of a drunken female. She had fallen over whilst drunk and struck her head. A new health care assistant had been given the task of cleaning the wound and then gluing it together with tissue glue.

For some reason he decided that he needed to use a pair of surgical gloves and in the process managed to glue one of the gloves to the ladies head at the site of the wound. He very sheepishly came to me and asked if I could come and have a look and help him, I couldn't keep back the laugh when I drew back the cubicle curtain and saw the lady in that state.