cracked and chapped hands

Kempthorn Prosser's lanoline cream, there is two versions, one for wet work, and the other for dry.

Ian S C (in NZ)

NOT OT but following Neil's offering ...

A man goes into a fish restaurant for a meal. Menu items are selected from live fish in a big tank. Waiter arrives and says "My names Gervase and I'm your waiter for tonight - what would you like, Sir?" Man spots a squid in the bottom of the tank and says he'd like that. Gervase says it's not possible. Man says "Why?" Gervase says it is a) A very special rare breed and b) it is a harmless, mild-mannered creature which he couldn't bring himself to kill. Gervase says that, additionally, the squid is of the ultra rare Hairy Lipped variety and with an unusual green colouring. Man says this is ridiculous and asks if there is anyone else who would be prepared to do so. Gervase says that the German dish-washer Hans might, perhaps be persuaded and goes off to see. He returns saying that Hans was shocked and upset by the very suggestion and had been reduced to tears. Man leaves restaurant, hungry.

Moral of this story ...

Hans who does dishes is as soft as Gervase with mild green Hairy-Lipped Squid

Neil knows the tune!

rgds

Bill (bored and idle!)

(Much 'padding' can be added for Shaggy Dog story enthusiasts!!)

I prefer to rub my hands with fresh horse manure.

Seems to stop me biting my nails.